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pain-and-missouri:

tilthat:

TIL a 19 year old man dove 85 feet into the ocean to wrestle an 80 pound octopus with a 9 foot diameter to the surface in a 25 minute epic battle in which he punched the octopus subduing it after it turned red and lunged at him tearing off his respirator. He drove it home, cooked it up, and ate it.

via reddit.com

This is the man you must fight at the gates of Valhalla to prove you’re worthy of that mighty hall

It somehow gets crazier. this teenager trained for months. he staged fights in his parents’ swimming pool to train for this epic match. he choose halloween night for the final showdown. and it was for a school project. he could have chosen any seafood, but he decided on, in his own words, “that big fucking octopus.” magnificent bastard. 

image

Y’all missed the part where he dragged it ashore and divers saw him, got upset and sent some pretty rough stuff to his family. Then, at the Washington Fish and Wildlife meeting, he showed up and was like “yeah, it should be protected.” 

Except that the giant pacific octopus is nowhere near extinct and actually doing just fine.

So not only did he wrestle, kill, and eat a giant octopus- he got it protected from hunting in several locations even though the species doesn’t need protecting. 

Fucking legendary indeed.

So the only person they need protection from is this guy.

…what sort of school project requires you to wrestle sea life?

That’s just how Washington is

to be clear, the school project was to “draw something from nature.” nobody asked him to wrestle an octopus.

…now, I have misunderstood the spirit of a lot of art projects before but

Real life video game quest

(via squided)

breelandwalker:

dmofstormandsea:

thorthedorkworld:

I’m screaming why does Mamma Mia fit every fight scene so perfectly ajkaslajjddhhajadkjfh

this video is what dnd feels like

ROLL INTIATIVE

(via squided)

comcastkills:

targuzzler:

comcastkills:

where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

image

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever

(Source: jeffbezosdivorcelawyer, via squided)

quousque:

iwantasecretgarden:

shamrockjolnes:

five-cats:

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

I tried to scroll past I really did

beautiful set up, perfect follow-through. great teamwork everyone

(Source: fivekets, via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: pinterest.com, via hainedesoi)

kiramartinauthor:

You don’t like hairless cats? Bitch, you a hairless ape

nipplethief:

seduce me with film references

My time has come

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bibliophileap:

psychic-sylveon:

1nsomnizac:

ask-bot:

You wake up one day with the ability to freeze time at will for as long as you want with no repercussions. What’s the first thing you do with your newfound powers?

take a nap

you just woke up

take a nap

(via squided)